The Alternate Intelligence Theory
by skytennis1
Summary: In Sheldon's dream, he and Leonard are kicked out of the University. They go to work at the Cheesecake Factory, but then at home Sheldon finds a new Superman suit to try on. Then in a huge crash Penny gets Sheldon's Intelligence, and Sheldon becomes dumb.


"No, this seat isn't right." complained Sheldon.

" Just sit down Sheldon!" screeched Penny.

"Alright" said Sheldon who proceeded to plop himself down upon a couch.

"Now I am going to be the one prepping you to work in the Cheesecake Factory. Any questions?" Penny stated.

"Yeah, can you fire Sheldon?" inquired Leonard.

"Hey! What have I done?" Sheldon asked.

"You're annoying." Leonard stated with a bit of venom in his throat.

"Shut Up! Both of you sit in the corner!" Penny ordered.

Then Kripke walked in to enjoy the show, taking a front row seat right next to Sheldon which irritated Sheldon and started a quarrel.

"Sheldon sit down!" Penny commanded.

Sheldon then decided to sit down, and complain later.

" Now class. The first we need to learn is how to carry a tray." Penny said exasperated knowing that Sheldon would have some sort of rhetorical question.

Sheldon of course raised his hand, but Penny decided to agitate him and not pay attention.

" First you must make sure not to fall over or tip the tray in any way." Penny conducted, for this was the obvious safety concerns, and besides that fact, nobody would want to be covered in cheesecake.

Sheldon began to wave his hand impatiently, which was beginning to annoy Penny.

" Now Kripke, why don't you try?" Perry queried, not knowing the nature in which Kripke was there.

"Because I'm not like Sheldon whose lost his job." Kripke snidely remarked.

Sheldon still had his hand up, poor soul, unable to let anything go. Then though he began to turn purple from Kripke's comment which was an odd look for him indeed.

Penny then decided to take on a more chiding teacher-like voice, "Then why are you here?"

Kripke decided to respond with the following, "To watch these idiots try to learn how to serve people with real jobs."

Sheldon was now practically fuming from Kripke's comment, and looked like he was about to explode.

"Sheldon, why don't you try?" Penny pleaded.

Sheldon went on one of his rants, "First of all who doesn't know how to carry a tray, it's easy, and Kripke I am not an idiot!"

"Your right, you're a dumb ass." Leslie Winkle, who had just appeared, stated.

"Teacher, Leslie Winkle just called me a dumb ass!" Sheldon was complaining in that annoying voice that all kids tattle tale about in.

" All of you just shut up! If you are not part of the class then leave!" Penny suddenly took control of the situation shooing Kripke and Leslie away.

The entire room was suddenly empty, because everybody had just been there to see Sheldon be humiliated.

Penny then said while shaking her head, "Class dismissed!"

…

Sheldon began to knock on Penny's door, duh duh duh Penny, duh duh duh Penny, duh duh duh Penny.

Penny opened up the door, "Yes Sheldon?"

"I want to talk to you about work. Can I come in?" Sheldon politely asked barging in.

" Yes Sheldon you can come in." Penny pointlessly said.

Sheldon began to go off on one of his rambles, "Now I was wondering since I am so much better than you having been through coll-"

"Get Out!" Penny screeched.

" What?" Sheldon asked sounding kind of confused.

" Get Out! Get Out! Get Out!" Penny started to scream.

"Okeeheh," Sheldon continued, "hmm, must be her time of the month. I'll mark it on the calendar for future reference."

…

" Penny! Could you please let me in?" Leonard pleaded to her.

Penny opened the door in a huff and screamed, "What!"

" I'm sorry." Leonard exclaimed who was a little taken aback by Penny's tone of voice.

"What for?" Penny asked.

" Oh, I didn't do anything wrong?" Leonard asked hopeful.

" No, it's just Sheldon came by and was being, well, Sheldon." Penny concluded.

" Yeah, about that, can I stay over here for awhile?" Leonard asked.

" Sure." Penny answered.

"Thanks, It's just that Sheldon is going kind of crazy about work." Leonard explained.

Penny closed the door and in a sarcastic tone said, "Tell me about it."

" He thinks that he should get paid the most because of what he can do, you know about his ego." Leonard continued.

" Yeah, that's why he's over there and not here right now." Penny said raising her voice a bit.

" Unless he suddenly gets super powers, I don't think that he'll be satisfied." Leonard said awkwardly.

Back in the apartment

" Oh my gosh, a new superman suit! I'm so excited!" Sheldon exclaimed jumping up an down.

Sheldon being Sheldon put on the suit and ended up a surprised Sheldon that was flying through his door and then through Penny's.

"Oww! Sheldon! What are you doing!" Penny yelled.

"Guys look I can fly!" Sheldon exclaimed excitedly.

"Did you put an anti-gravity machine on there, because you know those haven't been perfected yet." Leonard said hopefully, the idea of Sheldon suddenly dying kind of pleased him.

"No" Sheldon countered.

"Sheldon you need to pay for my door!" Penny whined.

"Ok, but first I need to decide how best to rob a bank." Sheldon said decisively.

"He's always loved comics, but he's always wanted to be the villain, not the hero." Leonard stated.

"Up, up, and away! Uh oh." Sheldon screamed.

Sheldon crashed into the ceiling losing his knowledge of the world of physics, and of his life.

"Who are you?" Sheldon asked.

"I'm Leonard and this is-where'd Penny go?" Leonard said confused.

"I'm right here." Penny annoyingly pointed out.

"You're flying." Leonard said excitedly.

"She's scary, protect me Leonard." Sheldon squeaked cringing in fear.

Sheldon tried to make himself as small as possible, which was kind of funny because it was a vain attempt and he ended up sprawled across the floor.

"Sheldon, I don't see why these didn't work, you just had to change the batteries to energizers and turn them on." Penny chided.

"Huh, who are you?" Sheldon queried.

"I'm Penny, who are you and what have you done with Sheldon?" Penny asked inquisitively.

"I can't remember anything, but I do remember a name." Sheldon piqued.

"Really, what?" Penny and Leonard chorused.

"It must be my name, Kripke." Sheldon said decisively.

Leonard and Penny looked baffled by what they heard. Their jaws dropped and then they started laughing.

"What?" Sheldon asked feeling stupid.

"Kripke is one of your arch nemeses" Leonard explained.

"I remember another name." Sheldon piped out.

"Yes, what is it?" Penny pressed.

"I am Sheldor!" Sheldon screeched.

Sheldon tried to look really cool by doing a whole bunch of martial arts attacks and utterly failed. Penny and Leonard began to laugh so loudly that Raj and Howard, who were just coming up the stair, heard them.

"Oh my gosh, what has happened? It sounds like two hyenas got into Penny's room, c'mon let's go get Sheldon's laser." Raj said heroically.

"Yeah, except the likelihood is that Penny is already dead, c'mon let's run for it!" Howard screamed.

Howard and Raj raced out of the building and hurried over to Raj's place.

Back in Penny's apartment.

Penny and Leonard finally calmed down enough to see Sheldon actually doing some really cool tricks like jumping into the air and doing double kicks.

"Stop it Sheldon!" Penny yelled.

"My name isn't Sheldon it's Sheldor!" Sheldon screamed.

"Uh, Sheldon you're thinking of Age of Conan." Leonard explained

"What?" Sheldon asked quizzically.

"Well when we play Age of Conan your name is Sheldor." Leonard continued to explain.

"Ok." Sheldon agreed, because he knew nothing anyway.

"By the way, where are Raj and Howard they were supposed to be here?" Leonard asked.

Leonard called Raj on his cell, and he heard what had happened. After explaining the situation in detail he finally managed to convince Raj into coming back over.

"Hey, Leonard?" Penny asked.

"Yeah?" Leonard inquired.

"What?" Sheldon asked confused.

"Do you want to go bounce lasers off the moon?" Penny asked.

"That's stupid," Sheldon stated, "you'll blow up the moon."

"Oh great Sheldon is now an idiot, and Penny has Sheldon's intelligence." Leonard summed it up.

"Hey, at least I'm more gregarious!" Penny battled.

"What does gregarious mean?" Sheldon asked politely.

"Call an ambulance we need to get medical attention for Sheldon." Leonard concluded from what Sheldon had just asked.

"Oh, so it means call an ambulance, ok." Sheldon thought.

By the time Raj and Howard had finally gotten up to Penny's room Sheldon had been long gone in the ambulance.

"Where's Sheldon?" Raj asked.

"In the hospital." Penny said.

"Why are you floating?" Howard inquired.

"Because I can." Penny answered.

"Sheldon sort of switched intelligence with Penny." Leonard explained.

"Holy cow!" Raj exclaimed.

"Wow! Now that is different." Howard stated.

"What, did you think I was an idiot?" Penny queried angrily.

Before Raj or Howard could say yes, Sheldon smashed through the window.

"Now that was fun!" Sheldon exclaimed.

Sheldon suddenly woke up sweating all over.

"Not again. I really need to stop exercising my mind while I'm asleep, I mean it always ends with Penny getting my intelligence, and me ending up with nothing." Sheldon stated in the odd sort of tone that makes you think this happened many times before.

…

Penny woke up the next morning with extremely high intelligence, and he feels a craving to build a hover craft, which she manages to build within a few minutes.

"Damn, I could get used to this." Penny concluded.


End file.
